Qin Su is never quite so bubbly after he dies. She isn't sure if it's because she grew up in those years when she was married or if it is something he did that made her this way. She isn't sure she wants to lay any more blame at his feet. She is not the wreckage of her marriage
She wakes in the mornings before the sunrise and watches it from the window of the room she shares with her A-Sang. He wakes somewhat later and kisses her on the shoulder. It is their little tradition, something that her husband had never done, something just for them
She knows he would marry her, if she wanted him to. She knows he needs an heir also. She is not sure she wants to be married again. He does not mind, says he has plans in place either way. She is glad he does not push her. He is one person who had never demanded anything of her.
After the sunrise, after A-Sang wakes up, they dress together and eat together before he is called away to sect leader duties. She is familiar with the duties of a sect leader's wife, she does them almost automatically, even though she no longer is one. It is familiar, soothing.
They find each other for lunch and A-Sang invariably has some poet or musician he wants to show off to her. Sometimes she has birds or paintings to show him in return. It is so easy, loving Nie Huaisang. She knows him, trusts that he shows her his truest face.
Then they return to duties until supper, which they eat with the Sect for morale purposes. She loves seeing this sect eat together, how they roughhouse and grandstand and play. It feels like family in ways the Jin never truly did. She looks over at A-Sang and smiles.
After dinner Qin Su walks through the gardens. Tonight she stops in the bower that her A-Sang pretends he didn't have made for her when she moved to the Unclean Realm. She smiles at the memory and how the reality of it glows softly in the moonlight.
Huaisang comes and stands beside her, silently taking her hand. She looks at him, beautiful in the soft starlight. 'Nie Huaisang,' she says, 'will you marry me?' He turns to her, beaming, 'In a heartbeat A-Su'
Qin Su is never quite so bubbly after Jin Guangyao dies, but Nie Huaisang loves her anyway. He loves her for her strength and her wit and her soul. He kisses her shoulder every morning and shares with her all his favourite things. She is not the same as she was, but that's okay.